20件小事,帮助年轻人“走向成熟”

编辑:给力英语新闻 更新:2017年6月20日 作者:纽约时报(By ALINA TUGEND)

一些读书学习和“走向成熟”的技能显得十分基础,但是缺乏这些技能的学生可以发展出应对可能出现的挑战的策略。
一些读书学习和“走向成熟”的技能显得十分基础,但是缺乏这些技能的学生可以发展出应对可能出现的挑战的策略。

瑞秋·金斯伯格(Rachel Ginsberg)是纽约-长老会青年焦虑防治中心(NewYork-Presbyterian Youth Anxiety Center)的临床心理学家,该中心是来自纽约-长老会医院、哥伦比亚大学医学中心(Columbia University Medical Center)和威尔·康奈尔医学院(Weill Cornell Medicine)的专家创建的研究和临床项目。她参与了面向少年与青年的“跃向成年阶段项目”(Launching Emerging Adults Program)。

金斯伯格的客户缺乏情感准备以及读书学习和“走向成熟”的技能,此外还有社会焦虑问题——这些问题在大学会更加显著,导致生活脱离正轨。

那么,一个人该如何掌握这些技能?以下是一系列“暴露练习”,可以帮助学生发展出应对可能出现的挑战的策略,并“坚定地取得他们的所需,或对违背他们意愿的情势加以管理,”金斯伯格说。

其中一些练习显得很基础,并不是和所有人都相干。例如金斯伯格会要一个完美主义者上交一份有瑕疵的作业,她说,“这样他们才能学会容忍焦虑——他们会明白事情其实也没那么糟,这个结果并不会成为他们的形象标签,这个事件不会催生灾难性的后果,而他们原本可能会有这样的预测。”

有的人不愿意和同学或教授交谈,因为担心丢脸,或被认为是个笨人,对此她建议在餐馆点一个菜,然后改变自己的选择。

“这个练习帮助他们认可自己,不怕说出自己的所需,”金斯伯格说。“大致上练习就是要帮助他们把焦虑和逃避降到合理水平。”

情感准备挑战

? 认清你的感受,并就此和他人沟通。

? 延缓成就感,先完成自己没那么喜欢的练习。

? 通过上交不完美的作业,练习为瑕疵“腾出空间”。

? 给你的老师或教授写电邮,自己澄清一些事情。

? 上课时举手,被叫到时,首先说“我不太能够理解……”

? 在餐馆点菜,然后改变自己的选择。

? 走向一群年龄相仿的人,问他们一个问题。

学术准备挑战

? 坚持执行一个日程安排。

? 就一份作业或考试材料寻求帮助或澄清。

? 走进一个已经开始上课的教室,不要因为迟到而旷课。

? 课后与你的老师或教授交谈。

? 打一个电话,问基本的(包括“浅显的”或“尴尬的”)问题。

? 自己打电话预约医生和牙医。

日常生活中“走向成熟”挑战

? 每天给自己铺床。

? 自己打扫房间。

? 保证规律的睡眠,每晚睡七到八小时,早睡早起。

? 做三顿便饭。(鸡蛋、麦片和意面不算。)

? 把某件商品退给商店。

· 靠着闹钟自己起床。

? 掌握基本的财务技能(支付账单、写支票等等)。

翻译:经雷

Preparing ‘Emerging Adults’ for College and Beyond

Rachel Ginsberg is a clinical psychologist at the NewYork-Presbyterian Youth Anxiety Center, a research and clinical program that brings together experts from NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, Columbia University Medical Center and Weill Cornell Medicine. She is part of its Launching Emerging Adults Program aimed at teenagers and young adults.

Dr. Ginsberg works with clients on lack of emotional readiness and academic and “adulting” skills, as well as on social anxiety — issues that can become more apparent in college and can lead to students’ lives’ unraveling.

So how can a person develop these skills? Below is a list of “exposure tasks” to help students develop strategies for coping with possible challenges and “assertively get their needs met, or manage circumstances that do not go the way that they wished,” Dr. Ginsberg said.

Some of these tasks may seem oddly fundamental, and they aren’t all relevant to everyone. For example, Dr. Ginsberg may ask a perfectionist to turn in an imperfect assignment, she said, “so that they learn to tolerate the anxiety — that it was not so bad after all, that the outcome does not define them and that the incident did not propel catastrophic consequences, as they might have predicted.”

For people wary of speaking to classmates or professors for fear of being embarrassed or judged as stupid, she might suggest that they place an order at a restaurant and then change it.

“These tasks help them validate themselves and not be scared to ask for what they want,” Dr. Ginsberg said. “In essence, these tasks help to shrink anxiety and avoidance down to size.”

Emotional Readiness Challenges

? Identify what you’re feeling and communicate it to others.

? Delay gratification and complete a less preferred task first.

? Practice “making room” for imperfection by turning in an imperfect assignment.

? Email your teacher or professor to clarify something on your own.

? Raise your hand in class and, when called on, start your sentence with “I’m having trouble understanding. …”

? Order food and then change your order.

? Approach a group of similar-age peers and ask them a question.

Academic Readiness Challenges

? Adhere to a schedule consistently.

? Ask for help with or clarification on an assignment or test material.

? Walk into a class that’s already begun, rather than skipping it because you were running late.

? Speak to your teacher or professor after class.

? Make a phone call and ask basic (including “obvious” or “awkward”) questions.

? Call and make your own doctor and dentist appointments.

Daily Functioning ‘Adulting’ Challenges

? Make your bed daily.

? Clean your room on your own.

? Regulate your sleep by sleeping seven to eight hours a night, and going to bed and waking up at decent hours.

? Cook three basic meals. (Eggs, cereal and pasta don’t count.)

? Return something to a store.

? Get up on your own with an alarm.

? Know the basics of finance (paying bills, writing checks and so on).