Why Failure Can Be Your Friend和失败做朋友 - 给力英语
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Why Failure Can Be Your Friend和失败做朋友

发布:englishfan    时间:2008-08-11 15:37:46     浏览:4900次

I believe it is important to separate good failures from bad failures. Good failures happen when, even though you made the correct decision, you still lost. Bad failures happen because you made bad decisions, or worse, didn’t make a decision at all. Although the two feel the same, they have a completely different long-term impact.

I’m a novice poker player. One of the first things I learned was that there were good wins and bad wins. Good wins were because you had a sound strategy of betting where the odds were in your favor. Bad wins happened when you just got lucky. Going all-in on a 2-7 off-suit might win the hand. But it doesn’t mean you’re a good poker player.

Good Failures

Mentally separating good failures from bad failures takes work. Poker is a simple game where the laws of probability are cleanly defined. Real life is a lot messier. It takes more effort to decide which failures were because of a bad decision and which were just the unintended side-effects of the best choice available.

Although it can be difficult to separate the two, there are benefits to making two piles instead of just one. By separating the two types of failures, it is easier to persevere through good failures. It may hurt to have your Business proposal shut down for the fifteenth time, but it isn’t necessarily a bad failure.

By separating the two, you can also avoid more bad failures. If you fail because of laziness, indecision or poor planning, you can quickly correct those in the future. Knowing the difference between good and bad failures keeps you from repeating stupid mistakes.

Types of Good Failures

I’ve found that there are several categories of good failures. These are the kinds of failures you might actually seek out. Since they come from good, not bad, decisions, they are the best way to fail.

1. High Upside, Low Downside

There are many areas of life where the upside is far greater than the downside. When I write an article, it takes about 90 minutes of work. If nobody comments or responds to that post, then I’ve just wasted 90 minutes.

However, if the article becomes popular, it can bring in thousands of visitors to my website. Those thousands of visitors translate into new readers who can get value from the website. In addition, the extra traffic often results in a higher monthly income for me.

Writing blog entries is an example where failure is cheap and winning can be huge. I’d gladly take a dozen or two dozen failures for a big hit. A post that doesn’t get attention is a good failure.

2. Breaking Through Your Limits

The only way you can know your limits are to go past them. Occasionally I’ve committed myself to more work than I can handle. The result is stress and, in extreme cases, complete burnout. Doing more than you can handle on a regular basis is a recipe for a nervous breakdown.

However, if you don’t test those limits and occasionally go past them, you can never improve. You’ll always go slightly below your capacity, never reaching your possible potential. I don’t enjoy an exhausting schedule, but occasionally facing one ensures my productivity muscles stay strong.

3. Embarrassment and Smart Risk-Taking

There are some situations where failures and successes can’t be separated. There is no action that will guarantee you only get success. In these cases, it can be useful to ignore the losses since the wins will make up for it.

Public Speaking is a great example. Any chance you get to speak in public runs you the risk of embarrassment. You might say something stupid. The audience might not like your speech. But if you don’t face those failures, it’s impossible to deliver a fantastic speech.

4. Staying Inside Your Comfort Zone

The only way to have a bad failure is to stay put. If you are constantly experimenting and pushing beyond your daily routine, any result is a good result. Avoiding the things that scare you doesn’t make you safe, it makes you weaker.

Over a year ago I took dance classes. For a self-proclaimed geek, this was definitely a step outside my comfort zone. I loved the class. Even though it was outside of my comfort zone, I had a great time and learned something valuable. This wasn’t a failure, but it just as easily could have been. It’s better to discourage laziness than occasionally stumbling.

5. Taking on Too Big a Challenge

More than a few times I’ve set goals that were nearly impossible to accomplish. I didn’t have enough time to reach the deadline and I had no idea what I was doing. Although setting extremely difficult challenges results in a lot of failures, it keeps you sharp.

The ideal challenge level is where success is possible, but only if you work incredibly hard. Unfortunately, finding this sweet spot means you’ll end up making some goals too hard and others too easy. If you never fail at a big challenge it probably means most of your goals have been set too easy.

Just as there are good and bad failures, there are good and bad wins. I’d rather have a good failure than a bad win. A bad win might feel nice in the short term, but it is damaging over the big picture.

Do you have a personal example of a good failure? Please share it in the comments below.(May 26th, 2008 by Scott Young)

我认为辨别良好的失败与不好的失败很重要。良好的失败是指,即使你做了正确的决定却依然失败。不好的失败是因为你做了错误的决定,或更遭的是你根本未做决定。尽管失败的感觉是一样的,但两种失败的长期影响完全不同。

我是个玩扑克的新手。我从扑克上学到的第一件事是扑克也有好的双赢和不好的双赢。好的双赢是当你胜券在握时有一套很好的赌博策略。不好的双赢是因为仅仅出于运气才能赢。把全部赌注都压在2-7非同花牌上或许也能赢,但这不意味着你是个玩扑克的好手。

良好的失败

在心理上区分良好的失败与不好的失败需要花费精力。扑克只是一个公平法则定义明确的游戏,现实生活则复杂得多。判断哪些失败是因为错误的决定,哪些失败仅是正确决策引起的未预料到的负面影响需要花更多的精力。

尽管很难区分这两种失败,但将两者区分开来有益于混淆一起。通过区分两种失败,我们更能在良好失败的情况下继续坚持。如果你的商业提议被否定了五次肯定会令你伤心,但这并不一定就是不好的失败。

通过区分两种失败,我们能避免更多的失败。如果你是因为懒惰,错误的决定,或是不周全的计划而失败,你可以在以后很快更正。了解良好的失败与不好的失败的不同之处可以使我们避免重复犯愚蠢的错误。

良好失败的类型

我发现良好的失败有很多种类型。以下是一些你可以准确的挑出的类型。它们是由于正确而非错误的决定而产生的,因此他们是最好的失败方式。

1.高正面影响,低负面影响

生活中有很多时候正面影响要比负面影响大很多。我写一篇文章,花了九十分钟时间。如果没有人评论活回复我的文章,这九十分钟就是浪费了。

然而,如果这篇文章变得流行起来,它可以为我的网站带来数以千计的来访者。这些数以千计的来访者会成为新的读者,从网站获得价值。而这些来访也能为我带来更高的月收入。

撰写博客条目就是一个例子,失败很廉价而成功的盈利则是巨大的。我很乐于接收屡次失败来获得一次巨大的成功。一次不引人注目的发表是一次良好的失败。

2.挑战你的极限

知道自己极限的唯一方法是超越极限。有时候,我会让自己承受超过我所能处理的更多的工作。其结果就是感受到压力,在一些极端的情况时,会觉得彻底地精疲力尽。在你正常工作量的基础上做得更多是治疗精神崩溃的一剂良方。

然而,如果你不测试自己的极限,并且偶尔超过这个限度,你会一直无法提高。你的发挥将会经常在你的极限之下,永远无法达到可能的潜力。我并不喜欢一张令人精疲力尽的时间表,但偶尔尝试能保证我的生产力肌肉保持强壮。

3.困窘与聪明的冒险

在一些情况下,失败和成功是密不可分的。你无法保证只取得成功。在这些情况下,忽略损失是非常有用的,因为成功会弥补这些损失。

公众演讲就是个极好的例子。任何一个在公众面前演讲的机会都可能使你陷入尴尬境地。你可能说些愚蠢的事情,观众可能不喜欢你的演讲。但如果你不面对这些失败,你永远也无法发表一次出色的演讲。

4.待在你的安逸区内

经历不好的失败的唯一方式是止步不前。如果你经常尝试打乱你的日程,任何结果都会是好结果。避免尝试威胁你安全的事情会削弱你的力量。

一年以前,我参加了舞蹈课程。对一个完全不公舞蹈的我来说,这绝对是超出我能力的一步。我喜欢舞蹈课程。即使超出了我的限度,我很开心而且学到了一些有用的东西。这并不是一次失败,但失败可能随时发生。打击懒惰总比偶尔绊倒要好。

5.承受太大的挑战

有很多次,我设定了一些自己根本无法达到的目标。我并没有很多时间一直做到最后期限,也不明白自己到底在做什么。尽管设定非常困难的挑战的结果是一次次的失败,但它可以使你保持敏锐。

理想的挑战限度是在接近成功附近,并且你要非常努力地工作。不幸的是,发现这个令人欢喜的地方意味着你要结束制定一些太难或是太易的目标。如果你面对大挑战时从不失败,可能就意味着你设定的目标太容易。

正如失败有良好和不好之分,双赢也有良好和不好之分。我情愿尝试良好的失败,而非不好的双赢。不好的双赢可能短时间内让人愉快,但在未来就是毁灭性的。

你有个人遭遇良好的失败的例子吗?请在下面评论处与我们分享。


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